“Mom, Mom!”
I couldn’t remember my exact age, 12 or 13 years old!? But I still remember it was a muggy afternoon in summer. I panicked and cried to look for my mother because I thought that I must be terminally ill. I was bleeding between my legs without pain.
“Mom, I am flooding a lot; probably I am going to die soon,” I cried to my mother.
“No, you won’t die,” my mother said as she held me in her arms. She looked into my eyes, smiled, and said, “You only grew up. You have grown a big girl.” I heard my mother’s words but didn’t understand what they meant.
I goggled my eyes, opened my mouth, and was confused. “Go to see your fourth sister; she will teach you all,” Mother laughed and said.
I had to go to see my fourth sister. My fourth sister, who was only one year older than me, heard my situation; she was also calm. She just taught me what I needed to do.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. You will have this happen every month in the future,” Fourth sister said.
“What!? Why!?” I cried.
“Every girl who grew up had this every month.” she asked me in doubt: “Didn’t you learn these in school, did you?”
“Our Physiological teacher is a man; he didn’t teach these; he only asked us to read books ourselves,” I answered.
“So you didn’t read the book, right?” she asked.
“the pictures in the book are so embarrassing; none of our classmates dare to read it.” I blushingly said.
“Our teacher did the same, but you need to read it. Now, you have grown into a young woman. Except you have to read the book and know more about girls,” she said.
I admired my fourth sister so much.
“In the future, don’t dry your underwear outside,” she said.
“Why!?”.
“I heard that someone dried her underwear outside, a snake laid eggs on her underwear, and She gave birth to a den of snakes,” she mysteriously said.
My heart tightened, and my body started shaking.
I stood there, sweating hands to hold the menstrual pad that just my Fourth sister taught me to make.
“And, you don’t sit on a seat where a man just sat, particularly if the man just left and the seat is still warmer. Because if you sit there, maybe you’ll get pregnant, too.” She continued to say:
I was so frightened to shiver, so I quickly nodded my head.
Above it was my first sexual education from my fourth sister.
I assume I still haven’t read any book about Physiology. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be scared and stupid for a long time.
I was 22 years old; I had a date with my boyfriend, who was my ex-husband.
One Day, we ate noodles at a small restaurant. He said, “You should add vinegar; it will be more delicious.”
I listened to him. The noodles were better. After a few days, I added vinegar to all my food.
One Day, I suddenly realized my period had passed for a few days and remembered my fourth sister once told me,” When a woman is pregnant, she likes to eat sour.”
I was so worried because not only did I sit on the chair that the man sat on, but he also kissed me. I was so anxious I was pregnant; how could I be pregnant without marriage? Until my period finally came again.
Of course, I was not pregnant at that time.
Who can believe a 22-year-old girl doesn’t know any physiology!? But she was me. And at that time, Chinese girls were in almost the same situation. None would talk about sex in China at that time. Parents and teachers, all of the books and videos, none taught us about sex. Everyone was embarrassed and carefully avoided mentioning it because, at that time, the Chinese thought that only rogues talked about sexuality.
When we came to America, my daughter was 16 years old. We lived at my sister-in-law’s home; my Sister-in-law has two daughters; one was older half a year than my daughter, and another was younger half a year. The two cousins laughed at my daughter, who didn’t have boyfriends and no sex experience. Their ridicule embarrassed my daughter and made her feel like a country girl. Because of this, I asked many Americans how old they had their first sex experience, and many of them told me they were about 15-18 years old.
Now I know American children usually start to learn about the opposite sex in teenagers.
They start by meeting as many friends as they can;
Then, they will date exclusively and choose the one they like to go steadily to learn from each other.
If they make sure they find their Mr right, they will likely be engaged;
After they are engaged, they can try living together.
When the two of them live together, have to think about milk, bread, and calculate about money, they still feel their life is happy.
Congratulations! It is time to get married.
Chinese parents are usually cautious and avoid their children falling into puppy love until they go to college because they think it will affect their children’s studies. Some parents even still won’t let their children have contact with the opposite sex before they have a job.
But when children finish school and start work, Chinese parents are in a very hurry to push their children to marry and have children.
Here we think our children; if they have no experience with the opposite sex, how can they know what kind of partner they need?
For sexual culture, the Chinese and the Americans are different!
